It's been a while but I am glad to be back. Things have cooled off at school for the time being and for a week or two I might be able to just breathe and relax. A wonderful thing has occurred in the last three days and I am so excited. For about the last three or four months my husband and I have been having a few issues. These issues were so unlike anything we had been through before. For all the years I have known my husband we have argued rarely. I could count on one hand the times we had got into it. Sure we had rough times but things always smoothed over in a day or two. This time however, I felt like we were stuck in a hard, dark place; a place we were not familiar with.
The trouble began one day when my sister came over. She and her husband have always had difficulty in their relationships and have been through things one could not even imagine. That day we prayed together about her marriage, and she left feeling better. Little was I to know that whatever had been plaguing her marriage, now felt it necessary to plague mine. Perhaps some unseen force was upset that our prayer had altered it's plans in some way. Whatever the case may have been, things went downhill in my own marriage almost immediately.
I prayed and begged but nothing seemed to change. Although my husband insisted otherwise, I could feel that something had changed in our relationship. I felt distant, he felt angry. When I tried to talk to him about our issues I felt I was hitting a road block. Prayer was not working. The other night I finally admitted that the scale of this spiritual attack warranted more than prayer, it was time to fast. You may recall the story in the Bible when the apostles asked Jesus why they could not cure a boy who was apparently under a demonic attack. (Mark 9:14-29) Jesus said that the particular spirit could only come out by prayer and fasting.
Now I am no pro at fasting. In fact, this one has gotten off to a lame start. I've been sneaking bites, and still haven't decided if it is a fruit & vegetable fast, a "don't eat until six" fast, or something completely different. What I do know is that it is only day three and already the atmosphere has changed. My husband has been behaving differently, and I have been responding differently. For the first time in months things feel normal. I am not nervous or worried. I feel at peace. It could just be a placebo effect of course, but I happen to believe that the devil gets scared when people start to pray and fast. I also happen to believe that when the devil wants to attack a marriage he is going to pull out the big guns and stop at nothing to destroy it. If the devil is fighting so hard, shouldn't I? I decided to fight fire with fire. I pulled out my first weapon which is my faith in Christ. I pulled out my second weapon, which is prayer. Finally, I pulled out the biggest weapon I have-fasting.
Obviously, things still have the potential to go astray. This is only day three. Who is to say what will happen tomorrow or next week? For the first time in a long time though, I feel very encouraged. I am no fool. I realize the devil is not going to give up easily. His whole purpose is to steal, kill, and destroy and nothing makes him happier than to destroy the marriage that God has put together. I hope when this fast is over he will realize that I am not giving up without a fight. I believe that the Kingdom of God suffers violence and the violent take it by force. Wish me luckk in this battle.
